Reflections on our first year

In January we hit our one year mark here in South America. The year went quickly and for that, I am glad. Every time I had a bad day and wanted to come home, I told myself to hang on and make it through one year. The first year was full of transitions and adjustments. We had to deal with so many different situations that I wish I could have skipped over the painful parts and learned the valuable life lessons without the tears. Instead, we all had to fall and pick ourselves up a few times.

But like I thought would happen, after about a year, I have found a peace in our presence here. Living overseas is challenging because we have to continually be flexible. I came here with a history of how our family works, with an understanding of how I think "the world" should work, and lots of expectations. I think living overseas has given Bart and I a better understanding of self. We have had to let go of so much control that we, as Americans, feel is ours to have. We have had to readjust what things we deemed necessary and important for our children. And we have had to make peace with great disappointments. Since we live on top of sand with sand dunes all around us, I liken our time here as one trying to walk up a sand dune. With every step up, our foot slides back down a bit.

I am sharing these thought with you since I often get responses to our blog saying how well we are doing here, how nicely we have adjusted, and what a positive experience! But honestly, it is more hard than easy. There are a lot of growing pains. Nights I tell God, 'I can't do this for one more minute, change something because I don't care about your poor any more!' What has been slowly sinking into my thick head is that, yes, there are parts of this that I just don't like. We can say even hate. But there are beautiful parts. Moments when my heart swells with so much love that I can't bear it. Those moments are what keep me here. They often come from very simple encounters like when I spend time with a mother. Those times are what I wait for. I try and share more of those times with you, not the hard times. But, please know that it is hard and your prayers and support are what sustain me and our family. Sometimes after a really hard day, I am filled with peace and I wonder who of you are praying for us right now?